urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins Jenna Jenna 2005-12-22T02:32:23Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:88053 2005-12-22T02:32:23Z 2005-12-22T02:32:23Z how things that were always the same can look so different. back in nyc for the break...so sick of coming and going. i wish i could just stay already. not that i'm ready for college to be over...because i guess i'm not. but at the same time, this weird in between phase isn't really working out for me either. plus the goddamn transit strike is ruining my life. i was so excited to get back to ny because of the way this place makes me feel so...independent. not only do i get to work and function in society as well as making money to be able to spend on things i want/need...but i also have this incredible sense of being able to go anywhere/do anything i want without needing anyone else. i desperately want to go to the theatre, museum of modern art, go shopping, just kind of hang out and see everything i've been missing so dearly. the city at christmastime warms the heart and all...and i could use some of that. plus, this makes it ridiculously hard to get to work, see friends, and just function on my own. <br /><br />i really need to function on my own...<br /><br />made bank at work the other night, saw a bunch of the park slope boys i've always known and loved, and ate a shit ton of la villa. made xmas cookies with linda and mara as per our old holiday tradition. and it was lovely. i just wish the mta workers would stop holding the city hostage and let me have the holiday i imagined. walking around in the freezing cold SUCKS. <br />my ex boyfriend also sucks. and every goddamn thing i see in park slope reminds me of him. i'm getting over it. i just wish things hadn't ended this way. with so much random stuff left completely unsaid and me in the dark, pathetically clinging onto the random hope that he wasn't the complete loser he's proven to be when i first fell for him. it's hard though. i try not to blame myself...but still...it's weird to think that he's okay with the fact that he'll apparently never see or speak to me again. <br /><br />and i want my tshirt back. <br /><br />i'm going to stop thinking about it. and work on some auditions. work hard. that's what i'll do. and i'm going to have a great christmas...because in the end, the leporati family is like delicious, hot soup for my weary soul. and they're bound to do me more good than i can even anticipate right now. that, plus the pineapple glazed christmas ham. <br /><br />and hoover, my sweet, sweet puppy dog.<br /><br />to hell with the bad, it's going to be a new year soon. and i'm determined to make it such. we learn from all of our experiences...even the shoddy ones and with all it's sham, drudgery, and broken dreams it is still a beautiful world. wise words which i will follow....<br /><br />be cheerful. strive to be happy. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:87615 2005-07-08T22:30:28Z 2005-07-08T22:31:42Z life hands you a golden ticket. or several. suddenly, everything about being home and in this city and in my moment right now seems to be coming together in the best possible way and i couldnt be happier. 4th of july rocked. it always does. more fireworks from my roof, sans pablo, but plus carly AND haley. plus the younger generations of the two.<br /><br />i had a tantrum. i went crazy from being alone. i missed my friends and cried. i went out a bought a new guitar. i worked and worked and worked and worked. i met a guy. a great guy. i've hardly had time to play my new guitar. what with all the excitement. but it kicks ass. so does he. so does my apartment in progress. and my existence at large. i'm bonding with my family, i'm reconnecting with my home. and i'm thinking and being and living in the moment and that is just fabulous. i don't do it nearly enough. i'm one lucky biatch.<br /><br />in sadder news, a good man i knew died. he was a youth leader in the catholic teen/youth ministry i was a jewish youth in for several years through high school. helped me through a lot of rough times...parents divorce, college rejection, lots and lots of difficult news. he was a very good man. and his death is a shock and a huge loss to society at large. he helped and touched the lives of everyone he met. <br /><br />sometimes, though...i hate organized religion. scratch that...all of the time. i'm not going to get into it. but a person's worth is determined by their deeds, not by the technicalities of religion. any decent human being knows that. you could be a perfect letter of the law catholic and a horrible person. one does not cancel out or excuse the other. bah.<br /><br />that was a rather bipolar entry. but that's what's going on. annie's coming back to brooklyn tonight and we're going on a double date, i hope. ought to be interesting...hell, at least i get to eat l & b pizza. mmmmmmm. <br /><br />much amour. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:87362 2005-06-25T16:27:09Z 2005-06-25T16:27:09Z so today should be interesting. off to staten island to a barbeque with a bunch of strangers. that's one of two stranger-ridden staten island bbqs i will be attending this weekend, but i know more people at the one tomorrow. though all in all, it's going to be a long and kind of awkward venture to both. i think both, however, have a lot of fun potential once i figure out the situations. or get drunk on sangria. either/or at this point works for me. i always have these fantastic thoughts at night...long, drawn out ideas or free form flowing thoughts that i wish i could get on here and write. but the computer = upstairs, my apartment = downstairs and i'm honestly too damn lazy. i've been writing in a notebook writing though. so it counts too. just not as much because its so much easier to go mind to typing than writing. i second guess myself and think very hard when i physically put a pen to the page. <br /><br />i wish i was more interesting right now. new york = great. job = excellent. apartment = in progress which in and of itself is great. i miss my friends from school, but i'm reconnecting with a lot of people from home. which is good, just sometimes highlights all the differences between us now. and how we've changed over the last four years (sometimes, how little we had in common in the first place). its weird yet awesome to have these little companionships built on reminiscing and realizing how old we are now? compared to how old we were i guess. back in the day. its so strange that there are people i know here for 20 years. i dont feel like i've been congnizant and on this planet for that long...but there's living proof all around me through other 21 year olds i've known since i was two. people are talking careers and graduating and moving around now and all of a sudden thie innocence of these friendships and carefree fun of them become interspersed with this sense of real life. and different directions. it makes me look at my own choices and wonder why they're so different from everyone else's. but one thing, i do realize from all of this. i'm happy to make the choices. and free to do so. i will never settle for a career i do not love. as worried and concerned and serious as it is to have those conversations with people i haven't really KNOWN for years, especially prematurely (what with our remaining year of college), it makes me feel all the more resolved to do something i love. because without passion, life would be unbearably boring. in my personal opinion. <br /><br />later on. <br />j urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:87065 2005-06-20T04:22:09Z 2005-06-20T04:22:09Z i had an incredible time in bloomington this weekend celebrating peter's 21st birthday. i spent a lot of much needed quality time with close friends and CELEBRATED being together for a great reason. also, pete's show, forever plaid, was adorable. and he the most adorable one of all.<br /><br />as i was flying back into new york tonight, i looked at the window at all of the red, white, and gold lights glittering below, and was overwhelmed by how beautiful it was. even through the thick gray cloud cover that hovered over the city (which reminded me of the stuff you clean out of a lint trap in the clothes dryer) wasn't enough to obscure the beauty of the thing. looking at the city below, i was overwhelmed by a feeling of warmth and security. it looked so full of life, like you could feel the city breathe and pulse and just being alive. more so than anywhere i've ever known in my life. <br /><br />it was the feeling of coming home again.<br /><br />what a spectacular balance of the right people in my life at the right time in the wrong place, huh?...but i know that this is the right place. so that's a start isn't it? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:86792 2005-04-12T23:38:57Z 2005-04-12T23:38:57Z haven't said much about the past few months, mainly because i've been computerless for several of those aforementioned months. my 21st birthday was amazing, spring break in london was wonderful too. amazing pictures i wish i could post, etc. etc.<br /><br />i think janis joplin is amazing. i think i'm about to make her my patron saint of livelihood. which i also just made up. i'm really writing this entry so i could post some cool lyrics before they go out of my head. did janis and jimi hendrix in rock history today and they were AMAZING. i want so many cds. including but not limited to...are you experienced, band of gypsies, and the cheap thrills album. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:86563 2005-02-28T16:51:56Z 2005-02-28T16:51:56Z so it's been about 20 million years since last i made a livejournal appearance, but it is not entirely my fault, i can assure you. it's mainly because my computer has been out of commission for a very very long time. i left it with andy to fix it at the beginning of the semester and i don't think it even exists anymore. i have to get the hard drive replaced or something and have neither the money nor the time. updates on life...are many. i suppose. assassins was awesome, it went wonderfully, i was the effervescent bystander number 6 along with a bit part as emma goldman, anarchist of the early 1900's and apparently there's a bit of streisand in her too. the show was wonderful, though, over 1500 people or so came to the 3 performances, which were FREE!!! and overall, it was one of the best products in terms of the shows i've been in at IU. i was so proud of all of my friends with sizeable roles, as well as eric zobel who directed his ass off. <br /><br />this past weekend was kat's 21st birthday and boy, did we party balls. we went out to the bars on thursday night (correction, one bar that the underaged kids could get into followed by her crawl with all of the actual 21 year olds), drank for a looooooong time and then went to a few parties on fri, and had a 60's themed bday party for her on sat. it was basically the longest, but one of the most fun weekends i've had at college, for certain. <br /><br />i wish i had more to say. my brain is kind of farting for being up so early and aware of all of the crap i have to do today. maybe i'll actually be inspired later...<br /><br />all other things are copacetic. <br /><br />:) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:86454 2004-12-24T07:36:47Z 2004-12-24T07:36:47Z [[[PAST]]]<br /><br />[1] First grade teacher's name: Mrs. Ciapetta<br />[2] Last words you said: Goodnight!<br />[3] Last song you sang: Video- Ben Folds<br />[4] Last person you hugged: Haley<br />[5] Last thing you laughed at: the sheer brilliance that is Napolean Dynamite<br />[6] Last time you said I don’t remember: Right now...I don't remember.<br />[7] Last time you cried: When I got rained on on my walk home today.<br /><br />[[[PRESENT]]]<br /><br />[8] What are you listening to right now: Wildflowers- Tom Petty<br />[9] What colour socks are you wearing: One brown, one blue (the same design though)<br />[10] What's under your bed: a few cushions (it's a pullout in the livingroom.)<br />[11] What time did you wake up today: noon @ amanda's, disoriented<br />[12] Current taste: Ritz S'mores<br />[13] Current hair: messy ponytail<br />[14] Current clothes: the unclaimed beige sweater someone left at my house and some fancy ass velveteen pajama pants.<br />[15] Current annoyance: not being able to sleep/being REALLY REALLY cold because they shut the heat in my building off after 11.<br />[16] Current longing: to be warm...and spooning with Peter.<br />[17] Current desktop picture: my dawg, Hoover.<br />[18] Current worry: not knowing the table numbers when I serve at La Villa tomorrow.<br />[19] Current hate: the fact that it won't be warm again for a very, VERY long time<br />[20] Current favorite article of clothing: Rachel's Fifty N Sexy pajama shirt.<br />[21] Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex: that line where the back meets the lower back/hips. you know the one. with the sexy crease. <br />[22] Last CD that you listened to: Beatles Anthology 3, Disc 1<br />[23] Favorite place to be: on my roof, in the summer, drinking, etc. with friends.<br />[24] Least favorite place: Hospital<br />[25] Time you wake up in the morning: depends, right now...11ish.<br />[26] If you could play an instrument, what would you play: i think the recorder would be VERY kickass. they actually teach that at the IU Music school. i should look into it...<br />[27] Favorite color: Burgundy<br />[28] Do you believe in an afterlife: Not really<br />[29] How tall are you: 5’<br />[30] Current favorite word/saying: "Crap on my heart."<br />[31] Favorite book: A Wrinkle in Time...it's my oldest favorite book. of the recent i can't actually choose. <br />[32] Favorite season: Summer<br />[33] One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: Johnathan Norkus (who moved away in 4th grade)<br /><br /><br />[[FUTURE]]]<br /><br />[35] Where do you want to go: Europe<br />[36] What is your career going to be like: fantastic as long as i'm doing what i love.<br />[37] How many kids do you want: not so much wanting the kids.<br />[38] What kind of car will you have: i don't know how to drive. i don't think i ever will. <br /><br />[[[HAVE YOU EVER...]]]<br /><br />[39] Said "I love you" and meant it: nope<br />[40] Gotten in a fight with your dog/cat/bird/fish, etc: Chaz can be a bastard.<br />[41] Been to New York: if by been to, you mean LIVE IN<br />[42] Been to Florida: yeap<br />[43] Been to California: nope<br />[44] Been to Hawaii: Nope<br />[45] Been to Mexico: Yes<br />[46] Been to China: No, but i got cool presents that Amanda brought me from studying abroad!!<br />[47] Been to Canada: nein<br />[48] Danced naked: all the time<br />[49] Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: it would freak the hell out of me if i did...<br />[50] Wanted to be the opposite sex: no PMS, childbirth, or necessity of shaving my legs? also, i can masturbate 3 times a day and that's acceptable? sign me up. <br />[51] Had an imaginary friend: No<br /><br />[[[RANDOM]]]<br /><br />[52] Do you have a crush on someone: only the harmless kind.<br />[53] What book are you reading now?: True and False, David Mamet, also gulp...the Da Vinci Code, yea. i finally conceded. <br />[54] Worst feeling in the world: knowing that someone you love is hurting and you can't fix it.<br />[55] What is the first thing you think when you wake in the morning?: Goddamn, i hope it's not that cold outside/what can i eat? <br />[56] How many rings before you answer: as long as it takes for me to eye the caller ID.<br />[57] Future daughter's name: Lennon.<br />[58] Future son's name: Lennon.<br />[59] Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: absolutely. Bear. i'm 21 years old, is that weird?<br />[60] If you could have any job you wanted, what would it be: regular voice of an animated character on the Family Guy. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:86079 2004-12-24T07:16:46Z 2004-12-24T07:16:46Z sure i haven't written in about 300 years but it's late and i'm bored so i figured why the hell not. a lot happened at the end of the semester that i got way too caught up in living to sit around and write about. is the truth of the matter. i did a bunch of actual journal writing as opposed to internet journal writing, so the time is actually well chronicled as i enjoy it when my life is for some reason. <br /><br />either way, the semester ended, tearful goodbyes were said with rachel (headed overseas next semester), i went to amy's sister's bat mitzvah in cleveland with peter and jesse, and flew all the way back too good ole brooklyn for holidays with the family and friends. looking back, the semester was actual a great one for me...i learned a lot in certain classes (namely acting with bruce and voice) and settled myself in a social situation i'm extremely comfortable in. i like my friends and am close enough to campus to see them when i want to. the house is a wonderful place to be and i'm excited to have carrie as our new addition next semester. all in all, happy times at indiana university. so far, thigns on the plate for next semester include my part in assassins, along with dialect coach for assassins, assistant dialect coaching the dept's production of master harold and the boys, galia's IMP project with this performance artist, Amy Fourtoul, directing (she's AWESOME...more on that at a later date), and attempting to do a bit more writing/involving myself more in Boy in the Bubble (sketch comedy group). i'm also taking guitar next term and am psyched to practice and work hard to get good. also exciting is the fact that im taking history of rock 2 with glenn gass (my beatles professor) which is just the brightest damn spot of my year :). i love that guy and the way he teaches is just thrilling because he's so passionate about the subject matter. though, who wouldn't be. honestly. <br /><br />now i'm home. and it's pretty great. except for the torrential rain storm i got caught in today walking from the train to my house. that sucked. but otherwise, good. i'm working at la villa over break to make some money which is desperately needed. yeap, that's me...the jew waitressing on xmas eve at the italian restaurant. feel free to visit. see if i can hook up desserts or something. then it's xmas at the leporatis (hooray!), more work, and the return of the ever elusive ann abrams...finally. i've been enjoying spending time in my house, hanging out with my sister, and generally being a brooklyn bum (esp. with haley who lives DOWNSTAIRS). i've been extremely lazy about actually getting out to see people but i think that'll change. especially when i have money to actually do fun things. <br /><br />watched some napolean dynamite with mara tonight who was so entertained she fell asleep. whatever, it's still the greatest movie i've ever seen. second maybe to team america. 'break the wrist and walk away.' you know it. <br /><br />i'm just being very very bored and awake right now for absolutely no good reason. not much of an update, apologies. i'll do my best do be less vague and more interesting at some later point.<br /><br />it's cold in my building.<br /><br />later days. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:85857 2004-11-01T07:55:15Z 2004-11-01T07:55:15Z VOTE. VOTE. VOTE. also VOTE. for Kerry. and not Bush. because a vote for George W. Bush is a character flaw. <br /><br />good halloween weekend. my roomates are great. peter stoffan and i rocked the house as the murder/suicide prom king and queen. it was grotesque, eerie, and frightening and all ended up with me passing out in my food at steak and shake. another college weekend down. life is settling into a pattern and it's not such a terrible thing. rehearsals for vital signs are about to be in full swing and i'm excited for whatever that will bring. and the beatles class is doing sgt. pepper. AND life is moving along. <br /><br />my friend kerry is engaged. she's the first person around my age i know to have gone and done the thing. it's insane. i can't even imagine. and it's way too late for me to be articulate about it.<br /><br />perhaps tomorrow.<br /><br />this was a cocktease of a journal entry. i'll do better later. <br /><br />VOTE. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:85613 2004-10-20T15:11:11Z 2004-10-20T15:11:11Z i've been on a crazy assassins kick lately. that's for two reasons. 1) i love assassins. 2) UP (actually Eric Zobel, old friend and AD for Rocky) is doing the show in February. which is pretty amazing and i want to be squeaky fromme more than anything in the world. when i saw it this summer at studio 54, i thought the role was just so hilarious, well written, and disturbing that i couldn't wait for the opportunity to play the manson obsessed hippie freak that she was. seriously, i can't wait for those auditions. i'm doing her song in my voice lesson and just thinking about it A LOT. woohoo.<br /><br />in other news, yea, i didn't get that part in Wanda June. i think everyone knows that...or should at least. i felt kind of silly about dressing up and everything only to be overlooked despite the fact i made a fool of myself, but shit happens. AND, it may all have been for good reason. this is because the rejection and my sheer anxiety at having nothing to do rehearse for in the evenings or devote any of my time and energy to led me to audition for All Sorts of Trouble for Boy in the Bubble, IU's premiere sketch comedy group. yea, that's a mouthful. so yea, i auditioned and (don't say it, i know i'm not very funny most of the time) i was terrible at first, but picked up the pace at callbacks and actually wound up having a fantastic time and GETTING IN! so yea, i'm one of the new members of Boy in the Bubble this semester and it's proved vunderbar after only 2 rehearsals. we're rehearsing every night this week because we have our first show (well MY first show) this coming Saturday (at 10 and 11:15 at the BPP for 5 bucks a head if you're a Bloomington reader of this journal). I'm possibly in a few sketches, plus they're going to do something to embarrass the new people and probably get us too drunk after the show at the party as some sort of rite of passage. and i'm sure that's something you'd all want to see. but yea, it's exciting because it's a cool new group of people to be around who remind me a lot of my friends from high school (namely, the park slope boys). they're just silly and stupid and clever and hilarious and quite unpretentious. it's a great change of atmosphere from a lot of the theatre work and environment i encounter through the university and it's also cool because the group is responsible for EVERYTHING they throw on stage (ie write their own skits, vote on the show list, etc.) as a collective. it'll take awhile before i really feel situated and comfortable with all of them because there are just a lot of people to get to know in a short and busy amount of time, but i think it'll happen eventually. it's a lot easier when there aren't really attitudes or bitchiness standing in the way of all that. it's funny because i haven't really been that self conscious around them since i first walked in and in a completely new group of people, that's impressive. i usually get pretty freaked and do/say stupid things for awhile before i just get over it. <br /><br />midterms week is now and everyone's kind of going insane. i had a big test yesterday, a ceramics project i have to come up with an idea for, and a big ole paper on a show i can hardly remember from this weekend. i'm psyched for the Boy in the Bubble publicity stunt on Thursday where we're going to do something loud and stupid outside of Ballantine to encourage people to take fliers and come to the show. and why the hell not?, i say. why the hell not? so that's the current happenings of life. last week, matt brown took my head shots as an experiment to see what they came out like. he's trying to start a headshot business in bloomington and i agreed to be his PR and test if he didn't charge me for his services. and i think they came out great. like, a whole lot greater than i expected them to be. AND they're outdoors. they might be the best pictures i've ever taken. or at least the ones i'm most confident looking at. <br />check em out:<br /><a href="http://www.thingsthatarebrown.com/lossless/?album=jenna">http://www.thingsthatarebrown.com/lossless/?album=jenna</a><br /><br />lastly, i've been meeting a lot of people lately and i think it's good for me. the relationships i've known and loved are growing for the most part and even if they're not right now,i know they'll continue to do so once the rough patches are over and everyone figures themselves out, myself included. steve and jesse have made this semester a LOT easier for me, random a capella boys being a regular part of our social circle have been fun, kat's art friend, anna, and several others that have recently become a more active part of my life just shake things up and make shit interested again. junior year is really moving along and quickly at that. and bloomington's not seeming so bad right now, which is always a good thing.<br /><br />also, more on what else i'm thinking later because i have to go to acting class. i'm exhausted because i stayed up talking to andy all the way in australia yesterday. it was worth it, i miss him a lot. and it's always nice to talk to someone you haven't seen in a LOOONG time. <br /><br />peace fo now.<br /><br />jenna urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:85266 2004-10-10T08:30:42Z 2004-10-10T08:30:42Z it's been awhile. but then again i start every entry like that so i guess i can just realize that's a given and be done with it. but nonetheless, it's been awhile. i have a bunch of thoughts every day that i wouldn't mind getting down in here but the more time i have to think on them, the more i deem them unworthy of all of the intellectual masturbation involved in sharing them. i need to stop with all of that. that, plus the fact that nothing much changes too drastically here from day to day, it being life in Bloomington, Indiana and all. hmmmm, news. i went balls to the walls for that happy birthday wanda june audition (for the part of the 10 year old girl), meaning i wore a little kid costume basically AND duct taped my boobs to hide them. i had a REALLY good audition, probably the best i've done at IU. AND i got a call back. the trouble here is, (of COURSE because every time something cool might happen, there has to be trouble) is that it's been over a week since these call backs and they still haven't posted the cast list. after getting completely frustrated as a result of not understanding the delay and having a whole week to get way too excited about the possibility, we found out that they're posting the list on Tuesday. that'll be a week and a half basically. so this sucks. but i'm trying to look at it like it didn't happen and be disappointed and start moving on now in the event of a no go. it's just hard waiting is all. and i'm annoying all my friends talking incessantly about it too which just magnifies the problem.<br /><br />we had a great party the other weekend. the theme was free to be you and me and it was a shirtless party so it was pretty damn great. i passed out early of course and didn't get to enjoy it in it's full swing BUT i wore my furry vampire lesbians of sodom bra and still had a fun time while it lasted. been hanging out with jesse and steve a lot and i think it's very good for me because those guys are so laid back. laid back is a good thing and something i need to surround myself with even more than i do now. this is because i am neurotic and crazy and need all the balance i can get. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:85093 2004-09-27T08:33:16Z 2004-09-27T08:33:16Z mmm. the garden state soundtrack gets two thumbs up from me. that is, both of my thumbs. the music is very relaxing and is so well placed in the movie that every time you hear a song, you recall images from the movie and often the exact scene in which the song is used. it's not often a movie is so well scored that you can say that for most songs on the soundtrack, which is what makes me think this is an exceptional case. it could just be me though, i wouldn't be surprised. <br /><br />i did a whole lot of nothing today, but feel somehow satisfied with that. i woke up, cleaned the house with the roomates (it looks SO much better) as well as my own room!!! this, is impressive. so right now i'm enjoying looking at a clean room for once, no matter how short lived it is. also got the laundry done which is an even more impressive accomplishment. kat and i made a delicious and very haphazardly thrown together sunday night italian dinner which i'll be digesting for the next few hours. it felt very familial and homey. and sometimes throwing it together is better than anything else, anyway. i'm going to attempt some homework in a bit though i'm sleepy as anything from all that food. i have to make like a million of this ceramic tiles to test glazes and have no idea how i'm going to get them to the art building. my first ceramic 'crit' (as in critique) went very well, surprisingly enough. apparently i'm not so bad for a beginner in an intermediate class. i mean, i'm by no means intermediate but happily, better than expected. <br /><br />took a serious break from this journal entry...(its now actually 3 30am because i am a foolish insomniac). watched 'a hard day's night' with the roomies and ate a bunch of crap. i talked to marisa today and it was the best/hardest thing i've done in awhile. when i got her message last night it really sent me for a loop. her stomach's acting up again and it was just the LAST thing i wanted to hear. i look at my own life and all the things i feel so sorry for myself about (whether it's not loving school, or having a show, or being annoyed with my friends) and then realize how much i take for granted. marisa has to be one of the bravest, most amazing people i know to take on what she's had to with optimism, hope, and love for life that will sustain her through even the most miserable times. and it makes me look at myself and go 'what the fuck are you whining about, you have every opportunity to do whatever you want, you just have to go out there and do it.' because sometimes the most motivated people CAN'T do exactly what i have the capability of doing and it sucks. and all they want is the opportunity that i sit on my ass not taking advantage of. it just reshapes your perspective to look at it that way and marisa's situation just inspires me to do something about my life if it's not making me as happy as i'd like it to be. because she is a girl who's making her own happiness right now in spite of dreadful circumstances and that's nothing short of courageous. there's a lump in my throat the size of a silver dollar that i can't shake about the whole thing, but i know she'll be alright because SHE knows she will be. there's just too much shit she has to go out and do to be down for very long, and we all know that. <br /><br />i should stop this for now and start again in the morning with some fresh thoughts. i just read through some old entries from ye olde northwestern rejection period to freshen the story in my mind. i'm telling it for my 'crisis story' in acting class tomorrow morning. which will be exactly what i explain when i awaken and update, once again (as i'm trying to do more regularly). <br /><br />but for now, i shall retire. buenas noches mis amores. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:84779 2004-09-26T09:27:30Z 2004-09-26T09:27:30Z Happy Belated Birthday to Miss Marisa Marnelli, now 21!!!! <br /><br /><br />quick updates:<br />i got a part in 12 angry men but dropped it because i want to do Vital Signs with University Players instead. Also going to try for the part of the ten year old in Happy Birthday Wanda June, but I don't know if it'll fly. had some good times this weekend which included a trampoline, if you can imagine. i won't go any further with that, but rest assured i'll remember it for a long time. Watched Coffee and Cigarettes at the art building. then a whole lot of hanging around. and finally, a lingerie party with rachel which was underwhelming. <br /><br />came home, nearly set the house on fire with one of rach's midnite snacks. now, i'm sitting up awake. and i can't fall asleep.<br /><br />all i want is someone who will sit with me here until i fall asleep. i think that must be great. and secure feeling.<br /><br />i'm going to attempt bed now, though. <br /><br />more to come...<br /><br />later days. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:84626 2004-09-21T19:45:28Z 2004-09-21T19:45:28Z whew. i had this great entry (REALLY, i'm still talking about it) all about the weekend but since my computer is a demon that eats any good thing i could possibly write, we'll just call it lost to the ages, for now. i don't really feel like reiterating everything that happened, especially when very few of you poor people who read this would find it interesting. <br /><br />all in all, it was a good time. and i got to hang out with peter a lot which just brings a smile to my heart. he is the best boy in all the world and life is so much better when he's around. just a little nod to peter there. also, lying out by the pool at the commons where he lives is diviiiiine. makes me feel like i'm living the fabulous life even though the case is quite the opposite in reality. it's fun to pretend though!<br /><br />i'm exhausted because i couldn't sleep last night and didn't finally peace out until 5am. i also have to finish 2 huge ceramics projects for class tomorrow which sucks and means i'll be in the ceramics building til all hours of the night later until they're finished. ceramics, you ask? yes, i'm in a ceramics class, ceramics TWO no less because kat and i convinced the teacher that i should just be able to take it with no prior experience. this is because we are fools who wanted to be in class together. i shall surely pay the price but ceramics is actually a lot of fun and therapeutic when you aren't rushing to finish projects for a critique. also how am i going to talk about my giant light bulb and larger than life size character shoe with any kind of artistic notion/idea/opinion? i think they're cool. but that's about all i could really say about them. it's going to be a VERY entertaining class, methinks which i'll surely chronicle in this bad boy.<br /><br />soo sleepy. t100 sucked this morning as per usual AND we had a quiz. i hate when people in classes just feel the need to show off their writing skills in that pretentious, ridiculous, obnoxious way that NO ONE appreciates. like this girl did this morning. the girl sitting next to me was funny though, and she wrote on my paper 'she has a voice like a little league coach'. which was completely true and stopped me from throwing my pen at her from across the room. that class is so long i think it qualifies as masochistic. or sadistic. or both. i can't remember which. dance class was next which kicked my butt pretty hard and then home to study for phonetics which didn't really happen though i tried by best. i'm just tired and can't concentrate and i'm also feeling a bit under the weather. i got 100 on the first quiz though so i figure i'm allowed a little slack for this one. <br /><br />those call backs for 12 angry men lasted FOUR HOURS because of the disorganization of those in charge. which realllly made me question whether or not i want to do the show even if i do get cast, which i don't know if i did yet. i'm really interested in the UP show this semester (GREAT monologues for WOMEN!!!) because they're renovating the new theatre and putting up a predominantly female show (Vital Signs) which i think is awesome. plus, there's a second round of department auditions coming up as well. though i've learned better than to expect anything. ALTHOUGH...the grad students are already cast which means this could be a good thing. i'll just have to wait and see, i guess. <br /><br />anyway. i think i'm going to try to take a power nap from now to 3:15 or something just for the pick me up i'll need before phonetics class and then hours and hours and hours of ceramics. and no beatles :( because of silly ole ceramics. that's all for now. <br /><br /> peace mofos. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:84289 2004-09-20T08:23:00Z 2004-09-20T08:23:00Z i just lost a whole damn entry about how good my weekend was. it was great. my friends are some kind of wonderful. went to call backs for 12 angry men tonight that lasted somewhere around 4 hours which was ridiculous. <br /><br />DAMN YOU LIVEJOURNAL. <br /><br />i'll try to recreate SOME of the former entry tomorrow morning. but i grow weary.<br /><br /><br />goodnight all. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:84171 2004-09-14T13:36:45Z 2004-09-14T13:36:45Z so the nervous breakdown of last night has subsided. i'm exhausted and it's going to be a lousy, crampy, miserable day. but at least i can resign myself to it now. it just hasn't been my week. i'm sure everything's going to start looking up any second now, i'm just drained and upset and tired and it's only the 3rd week of school. i just want to go back to bed and have nothing to do with stupid old Charles Railsback and T100 (a complete waste of ANYONE'S time). The problem with not going to class, however stupid, is that it usually leads to failure. thus, i trudge on. because there's no way i'm enduring this more than once. i'm DEFINITELY going to get yelled at for sleeping today though. i can feel it in my bones. to all those who worry about me...don't. i'm fine. honestly. i'm just having an emotional rough patch that we all go through every once in awhile. i seek no advice or a way to get out of it. just support and love until the storm clouds finally roll out. and they will. i'm certain of it. <br /><br />off to t100 then trying to stay awake long enough to dance. THEN, a nap between 12 30 and 4 of course. a GOOD, LONG nap.<br /><br />i'll be looking forward to it.<br /><br />so long for now.<br /><br />lovens, jenna. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:83730 2004-09-14T07:18:30Z 2004-09-14T07:18:30Z blahhh. i feel gross. like the weight of a hundred anvils is just sitting in the middle of my chest. i've been having an emotional rollercoaster of a day brought on by ABSOLUTELY NOTHING...which is making it even worse. i could chalk it up to hormones, but i think it would be a cop out. so allow me a moment while i express some things i have aggression towards at the moment. <br /><br />i feel disposed of. i feel like there are so many people in my life i've just poured time and energy and love into that find me so easily disposable it's like none of those things were ever given at all. and it sucks. and of course i'm overreacting and of course i'm being overdramatic but i feel so lousy about being such a naive, giving person who gets nothing but burned in return time and time again. i just want to curl myself into the fetal position for the next 30 years at times like these. school and my place in it is still confusing. i'm not sure what i'm doing in indiana anymore and its extremely frustrating. i just keep having this feeling of terrible boredom and lack of motivation that i can't find the root of. and it worries me. my friendships here are so important to me that when the slightest thing goes wrong i freak. and therein lies all this undue stress on my friends. <br /><br />i'm tired of being used and thrown around and made a fool of. even if i do it to myself half the time. i just feel like screaming and crying and kicking my feet in the air. i just want to be happy and i have no idea how to make that happen. where i should even begin????????? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:83697 2004-09-08T15:06:17Z 2004-09-08T15:06:17Z A busy few days. I really suck at updating. and it's not even because i don't want to. i think about it like 3 times a day, but i never have the time or initiative to give it the attention i'd like to. this is because i have extremely poor time management skills...<br /><br />in other news, i had a call back for a non speaking role in the cherry orchard which consisted of standing in a lineup with 17 other pretty, dressed up, hopeful girls smiling their asses off while the director called our names (ALPHABETICALLY, no less), asked about our conflicts and if we were sure we'd want to take on such a small and insignficant role, and were released. Of course, because I was one of the least comfortable people with this whole process, I was the last man standing. and it sucked. i hate being judged by my physical appearance because i'm just not comfortable with it...for whatever reason. "jenna...", you're thinking, "i think you may be going into the wrong profession, then". and i understand this opinion, completely. in my adult life i shall be faced with NOTHING but judgement of the most shallow, harsh, and meaningless variety. but hell, i just want a chance to DO something. let me act, let me talk, let me represent myself in some way instead of just letting my frizzball hair and large jewish features do all the talking for me. and COME on. who puts 17 girls through all that when you KNOW you're only going to cast 2. call back 4 for god's sake instead of doing that to so many people. i'm being a naive little whiner, but i reserve the right to be for a moment. i mean, i am still in college and naivete is allowed right?<br /><br />classes are going well, though comm. disorders is really ridiculously hard. my acting class (which i have in half an hour) is A LOT. Bruce (the instructor) is really into teaching the method of sense memory and emotional recall and is trying to get all of us to tap into our personal lives and experiences to create emotional extremes that we can access for our future acting work. this is very difficult for me right now because my brain is going crazy from doubt and confusion about school right now and where i really belong. and this is very hard even when i'm not actively conscious of it. basically, class is supposed to provide a healthy and welcome distraction from the whirling nature of my mind and when it activates those thoughts and forces them to surface (in front of a lot of people i hardly know, at that) it's a weird situation to be in. i'm nervous about class today because we're supposed to be going even further into the whole concept of 'finding the truthful extremes in ourselves', etc. etc. today and i just don't feel ready for it. i'm not trying to push the process away, or close my mind to it. i'm just very prone to having moments that are a little too 'real' for acting class, in my opinion. <br /><br />phonetics and dance class are good. i have my first voice lesson on friday and am kind of nervous because hookah habits have led to a certain janis joplin esque quality to my voice that may not be good for classical singing. eep.<br />i'm auditioning for tommy whenever those auditions happen. i think it would be the most fun show in the entire world. i also have a meeting with matt harding (the voice and speech guy) today about being an AI for the dialects class next semester. which i think would be awesome. if he'd let me do it. i have to be very charming and smart seeming...i hope i can pull it off. <br /><br />i have a lot of serious thoughts and not so serious thoughts about a lot of things that i can't ever find the time to get down. perhaps, later today. perhaps. <br /><br />fare thee well for now. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:83326 2004-08-31T13:49:58Z 2004-08-31T13:49:58Z lots and lots of college a-capella to wake me up. auditions are done! i mean, at least the actual initial auditioning part. they went...aight. they could've gone better, could've gone worse. i wish they'd gone better, but that's because i'm insane and i really enjoy beating myself up about things i cannot change. and things that are probably meant to be anyway. in all honesty, i don't really want to be cast in any of the university shows and i just found out that the Union Board is doing Tommy which i'd want to be in more than ANYTHING else, anyway. we'll see what the call back sheets have to say later and how many more days this undue torture of the university casting must go on. oooh my.<br /><br />classes went well, also. my acting class was actually quite inspiring and the idea that i have a passionate professor who might really teach me something is pretty thrilling. i hope it lives up to all of my current expectations, of course, but i'm trying to have an open mind about the whole thing. no preconceptions. the speech class about communication disorders was...okay. it seemed like it could get really interesting if we stop focusing on the professional lives of audiologists and start learning about actual disorders. but i think that'll start up in time. <br /><br />alllright. now i have to go to class. t100, no less. stupid freshman theatre class with crazy ole Charles Railsback. dammit. 2 and a half hour lecture, no less. i won't know what to do with myself for that duration of time. do i have to take notes even though i think i have some of the tests? hmmmm. an ethical dilemma. <br /><br /><br />i'm off. hasta luego. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:83119 2004-08-29T17:19:16Z 2004-08-29T17:19:16Z just a little one. <br /><br />The trip to Connecticut with some of my best friends was the GREATEST. We had an insanely fun time in WASP country and at the Fridays afterwards...during intermission, and every moment in between. I love you and miss you guys. I cant believe that Amanda's in China. JESUS. China. Who goes to China???? She will be sorely missed, that is for certain. By me, and all of the hearts she's managed to break this summer. and for sure she will continue her merciless wrath in China :). we can only hope.<br /><br />Puerto Rico was also fabulous. I had an awesome time lying in the sun, hanging out with the family, and meeting a new friend from Bensonhurst! Dyana and I had amazing bar times that I will be hard pressed to match in fun factor for the next few years, and that is a guarantee. <br /><br />i really want to clean my room. and maybe get dressed. go return a book. <br /><br />PEACE urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:82861 2004-08-29T17:08:07Z 2004-08-29T17:08:07Z Bankrupt on Selling- Modest Mouse so i've missed a big ole chunk of life that i've been trying to chronicle for myself these past 2 some years, but with moving back to bloomington, wiring our own internet (actually, kat wiring all of our internet because she's nothing short of a rock star) and dealing with the sudden change of pace, lifestyle, and social conduct that washes over you immediately as you enter this town, i've had some serious adjusting to do. it's doooooone.<br /><br />at least, that's what i've liked to believe. my third roomate arrived about a week ago (monday or tuesday) and rachel, kat and i have been living together really well. having a great time, supporting eachother, communicating well, and REALLY making our house a beautiful and wonderful place to live. It's so big and nicely decorated and all of our friends love coming to hang out here. Not to mention it's ridiculous proximity to campus. I am literally 7 walking minutes from classes if i take it swiftly in the morning. AND i don't have a class before 9! No class before 10 30 on Mon., Wed., or Fri. These classes of which I speak start on Monday so I'm attempting to mentally prepare myself for all of that. Though, I think this could be an engaging but not terribly impossible semester I have set up for myself. I'm taking 2 speech classes (phonetics and communication disorders) which are the newest type of thing on my plate, a shakespeare acting class with supposedly the greatest acting professor this school has to offer (which excites me as well), a jazz dance class, a voice lesson (yea it's a class), and the freshman intro to theatre class which i've been avoiding taking for the last three years and i've finally decided to bite the bullet about. All in all, it should be interesting to say the least. I also believe i got a job at the IU Theatre Dept. office, thus my reign of terror as a Bloomington server has come to temporary end. Not that I was such a bad server, I just hated it with a passion in this town...and I have no doubt it showed through in my work. I'd much rather answer phones and alphabetize for the same money especially when i want to have nights open for rehearsals and weekends for just being a young person and i can have an office job all week during the day. <br /><br />Things are definitely looking up in spite of all of the initial difficulty I always have returning to this town. I do love it. I love my school, and my friends are the greatest anyone could ever hope to find. I just hate feeling like I'm waiting for my life to start while biding my time out in the middle of Indiana for the next 2 years. I'm just impatient. I need to kick back and have a good time and enjoy what's left of my youth before the real world creeps on in and makes a lackey out of me. or at the very least an unwilling slave to the man. Once classes get underway, the swing of things will resume and I will once more find myself wrapped up in this collegiate world of pointless business that teaches you something every now and then when you least expect it.<br /><br />auditions are on monday...as in tomorrow. i have to memorize my monologue. maybe sing my song for bat boy once or twice. don't know what i'm expecting from these auditions exactly. but i know it's not much. the desire to be in either dracula or the cherry orchard does not necessarily overwhelm me, though i WOULD like to get cast in a university production, seeing as how i've spent some time at this university. bat boy is tricky. george pinney doesn't like me and i don't think i care. the show is good, but i'm not DYING to be in it and i doubt i'll cry if i don't get called back. also, union board is doing tommy. which could be AMAZING. i spose it's all just a big ole game of wait and see. delicious ambiguity. <br /><br />and finally, the great social return to bloomington for kat and i (we, the entity that is) has been full of ups and downs. so many summer friends that were thrilled to see us and have made the safe transition from friends of necessity to actual tried and true people who REALLY like to hang out with us (and we like them too!) in our NEW home. and not our old slew of hotel rooms. ha. ha. the boys have been...alright. we're still getting used to our revamped relationships with eachother and the idea of what this year is going to be like. but none of us really know. and though things aren't exactly the same, i hope we'll all find our new niche and be as close as we were. <br /><br />i can't wait to meet boys in my classes. yes, boys. i love them. and i want to know more of them. maybe even good ones. decent ones. boyfriend type ones. anyyyyyy day now. any day. <br /><br />and in closing, i'd like to give a nod to all of the Olympians who participated in the Triathalon 2004 in honor of the summer Olympics at our house last night. You guys are all of my personal heroes. i can't believe we all made it and championed as we did. i am SO proud. and I have no regrets about placing last. I'm just glad i lived through it. alongside all of you.<br />I salute you, triathletes. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:82433 2004-08-05T04:50:22Z 2004-08-05T04:50:22Z hoover snoring one hundred brownie points to anyone who can finish that song lyric from a song by the people under the stairs. the group...not actual people under the stairs, for the less edumacated among you. <br /><br />working backwards...it's about 12 30am, surprisingly early in fact for a girl attempting to relish her last few days in the city she calls home. a city that allegedly never sleeps, as a matter of fact. well, everyone seems to be sleeping right now as i lie away so i guess that dispells that myth right here and now. had a nice, slow second to last night working the bar at la villa. i hit a grand slam with a whopping TWO customers at the bar tonight, yeehaw. though apparently yesterday was busy as hell. of course it was, just because i wasn't working...oh fate. and how it wants me to be poor again. this is because i went on a major shopping spree in long island on monday and spent an inexcusable amount of money on some fantastic new things. mostly adorable shirts and things that kat and i can wear to the bars when the long awaited 21st birthdays finally arrive. and, yes, i'm planning that far in advance. also, nothing lifts the spirits like some new clothes...not that my spirits were in such dire need of lifting, ah nevermind. the POINT is that work was fine and tomorrow's my last day and i approach it with some major reluctance. i love working there, i actually ENJOY doing something that makes me a decent living wage as well and how often in life does that come along. not often, and in my twenty years of experience i'd almost guarantee it. so that sucks. also i don't know how mentally prepared i am to re-enter the world of bloomington for the next several months when i was just getting really adjusted again. i think i say that in every livejournal entry. interlude...<br />i did just talk to kat, who got me REALLY excited about going back because i miss her so damn much and we have such raucous fun together in our little town. and as billy (my random boss from la villa) stated in in his knowledge dropping fashion this evening..."youth is wasted on the young." mind you, the guy is like 34. oooh people. <br /><br />i saw harold and kumar go to white castle with amanda the other night and it was incredible. highly recommended by us. we give it many praises. although it reminded me of kevin and i's disastrous road trip on saturday to jersey to see russ'production of footloose. we got lost. not just lost. horrifically lost. lost to the point of, this isn't funny...we might kill eachother before we get to new jersey lost. then we got tired and stupid, enjoyed a GREAT show and passed out on russ' floor at a party we weren't in the mood for that there were TONS of hookahs at, all of which we missed, because we were sleeping on a floor. then in kevin's car the next morning. it sucked. big time. totally disappointment, not going to lie. <br /><br />AND there's another trip coming up to connecticut for KEVIN's show this weekend. don't know how up to it i'm feeling, but i'll probably pull through because there is the promised entertainment of annie, amanda, AND russell as well as good times ahead. and with 4 people in a car, how lost could we get? famous, famous last words...<br /><br />had one last trip to karma (hookah bar) with pablo and our final forays around the lower west side for this summer. certainly came to a nice little close, though summer...man did it go fast. <br />puerto rico on monday and i'm beside myself with excitement. imagine, 5 days of sand and sun and bars with random, awesome people at night (those people being my sis, carly, maria's niece, and russell). we plan to take a trip to the bacardi factory immediately upon arrival at puerto rico and stock up, then lather, rinse, and repeat for the following few days. i'm also dying my hair back reddish. because i liked it and i'm feeling frisky these days.<br /><br />it was a long couple of weeks and they've left me with lots to think about. all good, going in a nice, positive direction. but thinking nonetheless. the thinking plus the espresso make for a sort of negative combo, but hey...there's got to be SOMEONE in this city who never sleeps. <br /><br />i also have a nice, clean bill of health after the many doctor's appt.s i endured this week. this makes me feel refreshed and new and not worried about any of the stupid things i get hypochondriac-esque about. my teeth, kidneys, and cholesterol are all fantabulous, it would seem. huzzah.<br /><br />i love my dog. i think my next livejournal entry will be an ode to hoover and hoover alone. i stand by that. anxiously await my next installment in which i shall sing the praises of my beloved beagle, hoover.<br /><br />peace. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:82242 2004-08-02T05:01:43Z 2004-08-02T05:01:43Z i'm glad mickey played that one as his last song. i've missed hearing that song for quite awhile now (since peter accidentally stole mickey's demo from me, in fact). <br />yes, mickey's show at cbgb tonight was fantastic and the guy's voice just keeps getting more incredible and impressive each time i see him. it sounds just great. and he's going places...that's all there is to it. <br /><br />weird. <br /><br />also i love annie. <br /><br />a lot. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:81953 2004-07-28T05:58:39Z 2004-07-28T05:58:39Z Blood on the Tracks-Bob Dylan even though they haven't been all that bad. it's just been rainy and disgusting and putting a real dampener on my spirits is all. though there are many many fun things to look forward to in the coming weeks. so i'll not be so negative about any of it and i'll just say...here's to a better few. <br /><br />i worked a ton yesterday, being carly's birthday, and took a lot of crap from my boss who was just pissy all day and needed to take it out on somebody. had balloons and cake for carly and wound up working for twelve hours straight which sucked monkey butt. but this means that taking off early on thursday won't be such a big deal monetarily speaking at least. and i'm not jipping the restaurant hours because i'm giving an extra day covering phones this friday night. so it's all well and good. <br /><br />my priorities have been skewed lately and i personally apologize to all those that have suffered as a result. and not just instantaneously and automatically apologize either. it's screwed up to not realize what and who is really important in your lives sometimes, especially when i stand to be separated from that for quite some time this coming year. that sucks. it's hard to deal with change and sometimes i choose to outright deny it rather than deal the way i should and appreciate what i have while i still have it instead of just being a selfish asshole which i can be sometimes. sorry for the ambiguous rant. unfortunately, i needed to do it...for me. so that's that. <br /><br />aight...my damp ass (from the rain that is) must be heading to bed. comment, haley's little nephew who was over at their house today for the shiva for her grandma was the cutest 2(?) year old i've ever meant. chatty as hell. awww kids. still don't want any though. and that's the end of that.<br /><br />stuff going on this week (end):<br />-working tomorrow 4-cl, then out with la villa people possibly?<br />-thurs. 7/29- working 4-7/going to see ronen's band play a show at the sidewalk cafe on ave. a and east 7th...inquire if interested. <br />-fri. working 5-cl at la villa<br />-sat. a trip to conn. and new jersey to see russ' production of footloose with kevin.<br />-sun. 8/1-mickey's show at cbgb...inquire if there's interest about that one as well.<br /><br />as for now...it's ACTUALLY 2 AM and i have to be up early for el doctor. <br /><br />so buenas noches!!<br /><br /><br />i love this song right now. ooh, the things i really want out of life...<br /><br />You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go...<br />Bob Dylan<br /><br />I've seen love go by my door<br />It's never been this close before<br />Never been so easy or so slow.<br />Been shooting in the dark too long<br />When somethin's not right it's wrong<br />Yer gonna make me lonesome when you go.<br /><br />Dragon clouds so high above<br />I've only known careless love,<br />It's always hit me from below.<br />This time around it's more correct<br />Right on target, so direct,<br />Yer gonna make me lonesome when you go.<br /><br />Purple clover, queen anne lace,<br />Crimson hair across your face,<br />You could make me cry if you don't know.<br />Can't remember what i was thinkin' of<br />You might be spoilin' me too much, love,<br />Yer gonna make me lonesome when you go.<br /><br />Flowers on the hillside, bloomin' crazy,<br />Crickets talkin' back and forth in rhyme,<br />Blue river runnin' slow and lazy,<br />I could stay with you forever<br />And never realize the time.<br /><br />Situations have ended sad,<br />Relationships have all been bad.<br />Mine've been like verlaine's and rimbaud.<br />But there's no way i can compare<br />All those scenes to this affair,<br />Yer gonna make me lonesome when you go.<br /><br />Yer gonna make me wonder what i'm doin',<br />Stayin' far behind without you.<br />Yer gonna make me wonder what i'm sayin',<br />Yer gonna make me give myself a good talkin' to.<br /><br />I'll look for you in old honolulu,<br />San francisco, ashtabula,<br />Yer gonna have to leave me now, i know.<br />But i'll see you in the sky above,<br />In the tall grass, in the ones i love,<br />Yer gonna make me lonesome when you go. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:j_weins:81796 2004-07-25T17:23:05Z 2004-07-25T17:23:05Z hello all. i forgot to mention that i saw a wonderfully dorky show with amanda brown inzio the other day that was fabulous in a way that only we two queens of musical theatre dorkdom could appreciate. it was called the musical of musicals and it was very 'forbidden broadway'-esque and chock full of references that only people like us (and select others who probably would wish to remain nameless) would catch on to and fully enjoy. all in all, good times for the theatrically inclined.<br /><br />made dinner over at blo's house the other night (yes...in queens) with annie, joe perkins, and ross which was quite the motley crue. listened to jamie cullum who i can honestly say i highly recommend. very norah jones-esque, but the guy's got a great voice and does some pretty solid covers...included but not limited to 'i get a kick out of you'!! can't get much better than that, i say. also, i got the best present ever as pablo finally came through with all of his sony cd-stealing hookups in the most unexpectedly wonderful way ever. YES, ladies and gentlemen, mr. svirsky managed to get his hands on (and give to me!) a 15 disc collection of all of the bob dylan albums sony's just remastered and is going to re-release in surround sound that sounds just incredible. it's like bob dylan is standing RIGHT next to you. so that' just phenomenal and i've been enjoying them ever since. slowly but surely making my way through the newly and gratefully acquired collection! thanks pablo, you da man. :)<br /><br />last night, i went to see ronen's band play a show in the city at a club called terra blues which was fun, as well. they sounded really good, the musical style was chill and something i dug a great deal. the use of the banjo, harmonica, accordian, and...english horn (?) i believe was innovative and cool sounding, not to mention the upright bass which i've grown to appreciate over the past year. ronen sounded awesome and is just...very, very talented. and it's exciting because i don't see him play often AT ALL and when i do the improvement and just level of his skill is always surprising and wonderful. it makes me proud of him as well as all of my friends who seem to be doing so well for themselves. i got to meet the band too, which was nice, and then come back to annie's to watch 'as good as it gets' which is one of the best movies, well, ever. i was completely absorbed until 3:30 in the morning even though i was exhausted when i started watching it...if that says anything for the supremo quality of that movie.<br /><br />well, now i'm off for some l and b pizza lunch with annabelle followed by yet another trip to the ciudad for an improv comedy show by the Upright Citizens Brigade. should be yet another full and productive day. sans work of course, but sometimes...you don't work for a little while. gulp. it's alright, i'm working tomorrow...no fear, la villa will not crumble without my presence for just one more day :). and i can live without the complex carbohydrates. <br /><br />adieu.